“Life has many ways of testing a person’s will, either by having nothing happen at all or by having everything happen all at once.” -Paulo Coelho
Sometimes it can feel as though everything is falling apart in our lives. We have been working so hard and fighting for what we want. But no matter what we do, we just can’t keep all the pieces together. In these moments, we start to question everything. We question life and we question ourselves.
What do you do when it feels as if everything is falling apart? Well, sometimes doing nothing is maybe the best thing you can do. And perhaps allowing everything to fall apart is what is needed for things to come together as they are supposed to be. I know that sounds scary, but sometimes I think that it is necessary for things to fall apart.
What if when everything seems as though it is falling apart in our lives, it is life’s way of telling us to relax and trust that what is happening is for our greater good. That our life falling apart isn’t happening to us, it’s happening FOR US!
Maybe the pieces that are flying everywhere now, are going to come together to create what we have been wanting so badly.
I have experienced numerous moments when I felt as though everything was falling apart in my life. I thought life as I knew it was certainly doomed, but it wasn’t. There was a pain at the moment, but new growth and much-needed lessons came from that pain. In fact, I have only gained good in the long run from the moments when I thought everything was falling apart. Things really were falling into place, it just didn’t seem like it at the moment.
We are all bound to have numerous moments in life when we feel things are falling apart, perhaps you are going through one of those moments now. If so, here are a few things that I ask myself and try to remember when I feel like things are falling apart, maybe they can help you as well.
What’s the worst that could happen?
So, everything is falling apart in your life. Okay, I want you to think of every bad thing that could happen from everything falling apart. Write down every “worst case scenario” fear that you have from all the chaos that is currently happening. Then, write down what you would do if that situation actually happened.
We are often told to see the best in every situation. While I do believe that we should strive to do this most of the time, sometimes it can be helpful to dive deeper into our fear of “the worst happening.” I first learned about this technique after watching a Ted Talk by Tim Ferris on “Fear Setting.” The premise is to explore your fear of the worst that could happen, because only through making our fear truly known can we overcome it.
Through exploring the worst outcomes, often what we see is that “the worst” really isn’t that bad, and by writing down what we would do if each of those outcomes did happen, we build confidence in our ability make it through.
If you want to learn more about this powerful technique that has helped me, check out Tim’s Ted Talk at https://www.ted.com/talks/tim_ferriss_why_you_should_define_your_fears_instead_of_your_goals?language=en
Nothing is permanent.
Bad times don’t last forever. Your life won’t always feel like it’s falling apart. Things change! People change! Circumstances and situations change! Everything and everyone goes through changes! CHANGE IS PART OF LIFE! And, most importantly, change is necessary!
Don’t fear it! Don’t dwell on it! ACCEPT that change is happening and “grow through it!” When it feels as though everything is falling apart, find comfort in the fact that it won’t always feel that way. The discomfort that comes with change is needed so that you don’t permanently stay the same!
This is a big one! HAVE FAITH! Ground yourself in the belief that everything is going to be okay.
YOU ARE GOING TO BE OKAY!
Don’t confuse things in your life falling apart with your life completely ending. Maybe certain chapters, people, or things are coming to an end by things falling apart, but your life is not completely over! Believe that everything is happening FOR YOU and FOR YOUR GREATER FUTURE! And, believe in YOUR ABILITY to make it through what you are currently going through!
Everything is going to come together, I promise, and when it does you’ll look back and say, “That didn’t happen to me, that happened for me!”
Sometimes things fall apart because they are not supposed to be there anymore. Certain people, things, and situations no longer serve us and support us in our life journey. But because letting go can be extremely hard, life must sometimes step in. Life is not trying to punish you, make you feel miserable, or place doubt in you. Instead, life is trying to help you grow into who/where you need to be by removing what is not going to help you get there.
So, dance with the uncertainty of life. Embrace the beauty of the unknown. Make the most of the present moment and look into the future with the eyes of hope and unlimited possibility. Nothing is falling apart, it’s falling together!
As always, you are BEAUTIFUL. You are SMART. You are STRONG.